This is a short autobiographical extract that results as 5% of the English GCSE. This is a autobiography extract of something that actually did happen to me! Such a memory and it was so funny. I don’t think I could have ever forgotten it.
It Wasn’t Me – Short autobiography extract for English GCSE
Looking back, there was no way I could have changed anything. It was out of my control and yet I still did it. I made them suffer and I couldn’t help it. Do I feel sorry? I don’t know. One thing is certain for sure that I’ll never try to do it again.
It all happened at Alton Towers
We waited for the cable car which slowly dragged towards us, flinging two doors open to let us in. One by one we climbed in, sitting in a space no more the size of double bed. The cable car’s doors were about to close when a young couple no more than the age of 30 slipped in too, sitting directly opposite us, laughing at how close they had been to the door closing.
At once, our knees were touching the couple’s. Joe turned and smiled awkwardly at me. I knew what he was thinking. A two minute trip across the park staring directly opposite two strangers, something was bound to happen.
The girl seemed a bit depressant, with chalk black hair, large gold earrings and a striped red and black top. This was overshadowed though by her humour with her partner who looked more like the typical guy: a small beard, short brown hair and a physic of an athlete.
After the girl stopped laughing, there was a dreaded silence, long enough for me to grow a beard too. With the knees still constantly rubbing due to the shakiness of the cable car in mid air, I broke the silence, ‘yeah today was good fun’. ‘Yeah, yeah’ Joe immediately replied. No reply from Ed, he was too busy looking out of the window and I couldn’t blame him. Anything was more interesting than this.
Then it happened.
I felt a rumbling noise come from my stomach. Crap I was going to fart and not a good place to do so! What was the last thing I ate? Oh. A KFC bucket with BBQ sauce. A meal that’s all so tasty but with devastating after effects. I tried to nudge Joe in desperation. He didn’t turn. I was a volcano just waiting to erupt. There was nothing I could do, but to try and make it silent and hopefully, no one will spell it.
Then it really did happen.
A burning sensation came from underneath me. All of this happened with the couple looking at us aimlessly like I had done nothing. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just smile and laugh straight in their faces, imagine what the guy would do if I had done that! Instead, I tried to make it not obvious of my action so turned round and faced the back window laughing silently, shoving the weapon of mass destruction directly at them.
By this time, the spell had reached Joe. Almost immediately he started laughing silently too, knowing it was me that had done it. With no windows in this cramp cable car due to safety reasons, it was only a matter of time until the smell slugged its way to the noses of the couple.
I say it was about 10 seconds. Maybe it was the fact we were crying facing the back window. Maybe it was the fact Ed had now covered his nose using his coat or maybe it was that the couple had smelled it. Either of the ways, we were not expecting the reaction we were given.
At once, the women looked towards us, well me, in absolute disgust. ‘You dirty pricks’ she bellowed out. By now, we were out of control. The awkwardness, the comment, the cramp space and the fact there were no windows made us laugh even more. Only a minute into the journey, this was going to be torture. I heard a vibration heard coming from the women’s pocket. She took the mobile out and placed it to her ear.
The phone call was long and boring, just as well as it did help pass the time in there, the smell still lingering. She looked at us again, ‘yeah, I’m sitting opposite some skanks that just farted in my face. Yeah, yeah. I know, it was vile. Dirty bastards’. I turned to Joe, ‘was she talking about us?’ At once he started laughing again forcing himself to face the back window again.
After a long journey, the doors opened. We could finally escape hell. I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible because I’m not the best at keeping straight faces. Before the couple had a chance to walk out, we shoved our way out first one by one, making us receive a load more abuse from the now angry couple. I had to get out, but in doing so took long enough for the doors to shut in on the cable car. They squeezed through the first doors but not even someone as anorexic as a size 0 model would have got through these doors. The couple were trapped in the smell and were heading back to where they just came from. So we did what anyone would have done, run!
